Mindfulness Challenge. I start from…Now.
Nothing ever is as it seems, they say. Often the “mistakes” we do are empowered by current reasoning which is contaminated with our imbalanced emotional state. We rush to make decisions, we rush to respond to situations making things more difficult and complicated when we act without clarity. The more I experience life challenges I learn how important it is to be aware and mindful, and take time to calm the mind before making moves. It saves so much more energy when we give ourself a moment to relax and see things from the clear and loving space, than to fix things done in confusion, sometimes irreversibly.
I learn to slow down, I learn to be fully present in a moment, to taste it knowing how amazing it is that the whole existence is facilitating it so we could experience something unique and unrepeatable, each of us simultaneously. Isn’t it incredible? Stop for a second and imagine that the whole universe is making this specific experience, in this single moment, possible just for you. Moment after moment, in a rhythm of your heart beat. How does it feel for you when you realise that?
Knowing this fills me with immense gratitude and suddenly everything makes sense, although the intellect seems to be switched off. I take a deep breath in and with a breath out all doubts evaporate, like a morning dew as soon as the sun rises in the clear, blue sky.
I wish I could be mindful of each moment and honour it as it deserves. To look at every little thing and event as at a piece of art continuously being created by the dance of mighty synchronicity. Watching it rising and fading without judgement and preference, simply as it is, perfect and whole in it’s nature.
I sincerely wish I could, therefore I commit myself to focus my energy flow through attention, to meditate, to be present during every activity, to practice mindfulness of dream and sleep, to give myself time to keep quiet and respond rather than react out of an impulse, to look within, to observe my breath, to notice how my body feels and reflect upon what it’s trying to say.
If I’ll fail sometimes, which I inevitably will, I’ll try again and will use every pain as an alarm, reminder and wake up call, without dwelling on it and making a story out of it, unnecessarily. Trusting that the clarity will come in a right time, like before, but I just kept forgetting.
I commit myself to live lucidly because I’m tired of repeating the same patterns and miss-taking the lessons over and over again. I want to experience new ways of being, fresh moments, knowing that the possibilities are unlimited.
I desire to live consciously because the bubble I inhabited unknowingly starts to shrink, or maybe it’s just me who got a little bit bigger. I noticed the air inside of it becomes thicker and heavier, after recycling itself for so long and I don’t get enough oxygen any more, it simply doesn’t sustain me. I’m grateful to all those who knowingly or unknowingly tried to brake this bubble, who leaned on it and pushed on it’s walls, as without them I would not even notice that I live inside of it.
I am ready to live mindfully because when I do, the bubble disappears and I feel wide open space, each time feeling free like a butterfly who broke through his own cocoon and flew. Because the curiosity got stronger than fear, and the risk of dying without never truly lived became bigger than the risk of entering the unknown.
I wish to live mindfully so I could restore the feeling of sacredness, of every cell in my visible and none visible body, and extend it outwards to each human and none human person I meet, to everything that is.
I chose to live mindfully because that’s the only way to truly live and I’m excited to see where it takes me, moment after moment, in a rhythm of God’s heart beat.
Malwina Stach